alt.hn

6/25/2026 at 12:42:55 PM

SoftBank 2026 AGM [pdf]

 https://group.softbank/media/Project/sbg/sbg/pdf/ir/investors/shareholders/2026/shareholders-meeting_46_05_en.pdf

by dmmalam

6/25/2026 at 3:30:34 PM

I love how in the slide with "It was the goose that created value", the goose has its wings raised. The goose is ... triumphant. Ascendant. Its arc is complete: after being valued at $0, the goose is recognized for the inexhaustible source of value it is. The goose is vindicated.

And finally, in the denouement, we see the goose in serene repose. "It is the Goose itself," we are told, in bold, confident lettering. This is what matters. Not the eggs.

I hope lasagnacat can come back, do a special on this, and hire John Barrymore for the narration, as a spiritual sequel to their Pipe Strip video (https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=NAh9oLs67Cw).

by Michelangelo11

6/25/2026 at 4:09:42 PM

Back in 2014, Son also gave me a good laugh with a slide comparing:

> Von Neumann computer: powered by programming vs. Personal robot: powered by family happiness. https://i.gzn.jp/img/2014/06/05/softbank-conference/snap3014...

His sense of humor has only reached new heights since then.

by usagisushi

6/25/2026 at 4:07:57 PM

If your reaction is 'What the Hell is this?', read this for background:

* https://reuters.com/business/media-telecom/talk-bubble-is-an...

Then notice that the metal construction robot needs toe protectors on its boots.

Then notice that the slides have small print.

by JdeBP

6/25/2026 at 9:22:42 PM

> One shareholder, who described herself as a "simple housewife," asked Son to nominate her son to the board of directors.

"You have great vision and skill," she said. "I would like my son to become like you."

"I'll keep that in mind," Son replied.

Goose matters aside, this was my favorite part.

by wunderlotus

6/25/2026 at 2:22:57 PM

Pure trolling as a strategy...

Golden quotes:

"It was the goose that created value: 74 - 3 = 71"[0]

"Golden Egg factory inside the goose"[1]

0: see page 49

1: see page 55

by dgellow

6/25/2026 at 4:57:01 PM

This makes me feel like a spend too much time on slides for my rinky dink enterprise software feature projects.

by shigawire

6/25/2026 at 4:02:34 PM

The only thing I got from the presentation is that I still underrate geese, gotta put some respect on their feathered name.

by NeutralForest

6/25/2026 at 3:34:51 PM

Original approach for their annual shareholder decks. I liek that.

by stosssik

6/25/2026 at 5:12:22 PM

Surreal

by netless

6/25/2026 at 3:55:47 PM

When slop meets stock photos

by neonstatic

6/25/2026 at 4:59:01 PM

I think the beauty of this is that you know it can’t possibly have been ai generated

by aabhay

6/25/2026 at 8:50:15 PM

what the fuck is this lmao

by bebeal

6/26/2026 at 6:04:46 AM

Hype manifest

by sph

6/25/2026 at 10:16:51 PM

So like, this is one of those Spherical Cows in physics, where the theory ignores everything about the externalities and focuses just on some random equation in physics. Just like the idea that we could mine asteroids for $quadrillions$ so we should invest in asteroid mining.

For AGI, the only way it's actually profitable is if you're a sociopath who uses it for enslavement of the human race; just like the valuations of AI assume _everyone_ would be the "total addressable market". Just pure psychopathy with no reason.

by cyanydeez