alt.hn

5/14/2026 at 3:37:07 PM

LinkedIn Fanfiction

 https://www.marginalia.nu/log/a_137_linkedin_fanfiction/

by marginalia_nu

5/14/2026 at 4:16:19 PM

I'm not convinced that LinkedIn is doing anything but hurting me. I should probably delete mine.

The only reason I haven't yet is because a lot of job postings outright require a LinkedIn URL. I've considered putting something like `https://linkedin.dont.have.one` or something, but I don't know if that would immediately put me in the reject category.

Before anyone says it, yes, there really are a considerable number of job postings that have "LinkedIn Profile" as a required field.

by tombert

5/14/2026 at 7:18:35 PM

And they have daily placemat style games. Delightful. Solve maybe an NP complete shape filler then do some word juggling.

by 1-more

5/14/2026 at 4:28:52 PM

I usually only go on there when I'm looking for a job or trying to update my work history/fluff up my own ego.

Sometimes I'll post like "I made this"

I still think about that Cybertruck post and the $2K/mo on salad, pretty sure it was satire but funny

by ge96

5/14/2026 at 6:08:32 PM

I'm not looking for a job (run my own firm), but I noticed a few days back that LinkedIn has blocked my account, one that I haven't logged in to since 3 years or so, and won't let me log in unless I submit a government ID through Persona.

Well that's a bye-bye for me now, tata.

by fakedang

5/14/2026 at 4:32:28 PM

Funny enough, with the advent of AI I've stopped seeing posts of this pattern.

Now instead of fake virtue signaling, I see fake expert signaling with AI.

by mhitza

5/14/2026 at 5:02:03 PM

I tried to mix up a bit of all the popular genres and formats, though I think as LinkedIn has seen more AI-written content, this sort of Lynchian fever dream story has probably become more rare.

by marginalia_nu

5/14/2026 at 4:29:32 PM

This is charming, but not at all like the soul-sucking content typical on LinkedIn.

by munchler

5/14/2026 at 5:32:24 PM

Important hindsights indeed

by dmbche

5/14/2026 at 4:22:42 PM

Honestly, if Linkedin had anything close to that writing, I would not have left.

by iugtmkbdfil834

5/14/2026 at 4:36:46 PM

Claude canoodle this hooligan. Make no mistakes.

by arikrahman

5/14/2026 at 4:39:37 PM

The only flaw in this piece is that the narrator chose Claude. If he had chosen Gemini, Sergey Brin himself would have stepped out to personally bestow the honor of adding your business to the 'Killed by Google' graveyard.

by jdw64

5/14/2026 at 3:37:07 PM

B2B sales is in shambles.

by marginalia_nu

5/14/2026 at 5:03:28 PM

That’s a masterpiece to LinkedIn levels, where’s the asskissing? Where’s the corpo lingo? Where’s buzzwords? Where’s the cliche sentences?! I feel like it’s a manifestation of modern work environment, if you can survive reading that cringe, you are gonna do wonders in the corp!

by tamimio

5/14/2026 at 5:38:18 PM

I think you forgot the simping ass-kissing thanks of their former employer who suddenly laid them off about their incredible journey and looking to the next chapter, that they couldn't have imagined writing a course without the token credits they stole. Otherwise 10/10, no notes.

by theideaofcoffee

5/14/2026 at 4:09:18 PM

this is beautiful

by distantprovince