alt.hn

Some acceptance of this and realization that you’re part of that team will come in time. When I first started working I felt like I should quit before they figured out I didn’t know anything. I felt like I always had to go ask other people questions. At a certain point, that dynamic flipped and I was spending all day answering questions from other people. These days, it’s more balanced. There are things I go to others for, and I think they’re brilliant at what they do. Those people also come to me for help on things I have more experience in. It’s a give and take. When you start, it will be more take than give, but that’s how everyone starts.

by al_borland

'Are you contributing enough' is a less important question than 'are you passionate about the field and do you like what you're doing'. If you're just in it for the money and uninterested in learning that'll make it much harder to reach a higher level of productivity.

by Desafinado

Try to separate out 'ruminating' from 'thinking'. What's the difference? For our purposes 'thinking' has a fixed outcome and an end point. Trying to solve a coding problem. Working out how to make dinner. Calculating your taxes. When you reach your goal, you're done and you stop. 'Ruminating' has no end point. There is not end or action associated with it. The tricky part is that it often masquerades as thinking, so you feel like you're solving a problem.

For example, you do a job interview and you go over and over what happened in your mind. "Maybe I should have answered this differently". "Maybe I should've prepared some more of these questions". Of course, you can't change what happened in the past. You're just rolling the ideas around in your head and probably making yourself feel worse and worse. Rumination can be focused on the past, the future or even some hypothetical, imaginary situation ("What if I lost my job", "What if my house burnt down"). Again, actual preparation (Saving an emergency fund. Getting insurance) has an action associated, but rumination never ends, it just keeps going around in your head.

The other thing is to keep an accurate record of your performance. This will be different for everyone, and varies a lot depending on the job. The key thing is to make the record as close in time to the action as possible. For example, you feel like your pull requests aren't as good as other people's. Don't wait until the end of the week and then reflect on the quality of your work. Instead, every time your make a pull request, write down an accurate, objective assessment of the quality.

People who suffer from imposter syndrome tend to forget their wins and remember their losses again and again (there's that rumination!). By having an accurate record that you made yourself you can cut through this and show to yourself your true performance.

by laurieg

There’s nothing you can or should explicitly do about imposter syndrome feeling per se.

But what you describe doesn’t sound like this. So it’s a good move to first identify the problem correctly with help of others.

by aristofun

See, if you convince everyone around you that you belong in that seat and deserve that salary, then you do. Let people expose you as an impostor, and if they don't, then maybe you do belong.

by nicbou

but either way, don‘t worry. it won‘t take long after birth of your child, until your outlook on most things will change profoundly. just ignore it for a while. your life until now was the intro. the real part is yet to come.

best wishes to you and your family. love yourself and keep enough room to be the father you want to be. everything else will fall into place. good luck.

by endofreach

To solve for imposter syndrome the following steps must occur:

1. Apply introspection. Know exactly why you are not qualified and try to figure out how you got there.

2. Talk to your supervisor about this. See if they can work with you or help you with training options.

3. Stop being afraid, because it’s time to man up. Realize you have some work to do to catch up outside the office. If you are so unqualified that you can never catch up then it’s time to start exploring other options much sooner than later. Don’t put this off hoping it will fix itself, like a coward.

I spent 15 years as a JavaScript developer. That is the land of perpetual imposters. Nobody knows what they doing in JavaScript as your regular corporate employee and will lie through their teeth about it while putting on a face saving show and simultaneously crying on the inside. The constant insecurity was so toxic.

by austin-cheney

Every person that you run into in your career knows something that you don't, or knows it better than you. If you are prone to feeling inadequate, you will never be able to look at people and not see areas that they know better than you. That's why comparison is a game that you can't win. But the thing is, some of them are doing the same to you. They see the areas that you know better than them, and they may be feeling inadequate too.

Instead, look at your situation as one of great privilege. You get to learn from people who know more (at some things) than you do. You get paid to learn from people who know more than you do. You get paid to learn things that make you more valuable.

Enjoy that privilege. Embrace the opportunity. Soak it up. Learn as much as you can from those people.

by AnimalMuppet